JOKES
Thursday, December 7, 2006
At this moment 3.7 million are sleeping, 2.3 million are falling in love, 4.1 million are eating and only 1 cutie in the whole world is reading this message.
I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That's why I have decided to stop - to stop reading newspapers.
Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That's why.
When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.
The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you?
I hate blackout. Never mind the aircon, never mind TV and stereo, never mind the internet. But if I could not recharge my cell phone so I could keep texting, that's another point. I hate blackout.
Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face.
The only people whom I greet "Good morning" are those who are smart, cute and malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan? E di good afternoon na lang sayo!
"Learn to appreciate art," I told my girlfriend. She said, "How could I appreciate you, then?"
You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence, and you've got class. You've got the face and you've got the body but I've got the wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!
We hate others for imitating us. We are irritated by their attitude.
Kung akala mo importante ka sa akin, kung akala mo may tiwala ako sayo, kung akalamo namimiss kita at kung akala mo friend kita…Korek ka dyan!
I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're a grownup, I have one question..... What happened?
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose - your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!
I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with two angels. Your angel is cute but mine is not, so tampo ko. I asked why cute ang angel mo. They said: "Balance of nature".
Why do we sleep? Because we need to take a break from texting. Have a nice dream while texting.
How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!
Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I'll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I'm gonna miss you for sure!
Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire?
Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.
I've just heard a funny joke. I can't stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!
While walking down the street, I heard an old man say "I've been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now." I was touched until I heard him say "I wish she knew."
What is the difference between cute and feeling cute? Cute is the one who sent this and feeling cute is the one reading this.
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.
No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you... But I'm happier each time I send you a message 'coz I know I'll be disturbing you!
If they say "Good looks could kill", then please don't look at me! I don't wanna see you die!
Between the thousand yesterdays and a million tomorrows, there's only one today and I wouldn't let this day pass without saying this to you
You're like my asthma, you take my breath away. Like dandruff; I can't get you off my head. Like my car, you drive me crazy. Like dentures, I can't smile without you.
You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.
You can buy gifts but not love. You can pretend smile but not happiness. You can lie to others but not to yourself. You can have another friend but not as cute as I am!
Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
Any man who can text while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the text the attention it deserves.
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, a colon, or an exclamation point... So don't dare to kiss me coz I might get crazy,?.!
The Pinoy politician does not fail to smile in front of the camera. Why? Guilt tickles when there is too much light.
This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.
Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face your fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.
The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a headache.
A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like this? Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.
I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.
Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.
I know you've got plenty of friends. Some are old, some are new. Some are false, some are true. I may not be your perfect friend, but one thing I will always be - the cutest you've got.
Yesterday is history.... Tomorrow is a mystery.... Today is a gift.... That's why its called the present!
I'm not sure what life could bring you. I'm not sure if dreams do come true. I'm not sure what love can do. But I'm sure about one thing.
What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.
I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn't know I've influenced you that much!
Others say life is unfair. Well, it's true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute text mate like me.
Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?
If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!
When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough bout me. How about you?
It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
Dear fellow texters, Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.
When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.
There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.
He loves his girlfriend more when she is not around.
The only person who can make her smile is a dentist.
I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That's why I have decided to stop - to stop reading newspapers.
Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That's why.
When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.
The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you?
I hate blackout. Never mind the aircon, never mind TV and stereo, never mind the internet. But if I could not recharge my cell phone so I could keep texting, that's another point. I hate blackout.
Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face.
The only people whom I greet "Good morning" are those who are smart, cute and malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan? E di good afternoon na lang sayo!
"Learn to appreciate art," I told my girlfriend. She said, "How could I appreciate you, then?"
You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence, and you've got class. You've got the face and you've got the body but I've got the wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!
We hate others for imitating us. We are irritated by their attitude.
Kung akala mo importante ka sa akin, kung akala mo may tiwala ako sayo, kung akalamo namimiss kita at kung akala mo friend kita…Korek ka dyan!
I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're a grownup, I have one question..... What happened?
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose - your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!
I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with two angels. Your angel is cute but mine is not, so tampo ko. I asked why cute ang angel mo. They said: "Balance of nature".
Why do we sleep? Because we need to take a break from texting. Have a nice dream while texting.
How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!
Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I'll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I'm gonna miss you for sure!
Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire?
Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.
I've just heard a funny joke. I can't stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!
While walking down the street, I heard an old man say "I've been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now." I was touched until I heard him say "I wish she knew."
What is the difference between cute and feeling cute? Cute is the one who sent this and feeling cute is the one reading this.
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.
No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you... But I'm happier each time I send you a message 'coz I know I'll be disturbing you!
If they say "Good looks could kill", then please don't look at me! I don't wanna see you die!
Between the thousand yesterdays and a million tomorrows, there's only one today and I wouldn't let this day pass without saying this to you
You're like my asthma, you take my breath away. Like dandruff; I can't get you off my head. Like my car, you drive me crazy. Like dentures, I can't smile without you.
You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.
You can buy gifts but not love. You can pretend smile but not happiness. You can lie to others but not to yourself. You can have another friend but not as cute as I am!
Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
Any man who can text while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the text the attention it deserves.
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, a colon, or an exclamation point... So don't dare to kiss me coz I might get crazy,?.!
The Pinoy politician does not fail to smile in front of the camera. Why? Guilt tickles when there is too much light.
This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.
Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face your fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.
The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a headache.
A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like this? Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.
I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.
Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.
I know you've got plenty of friends. Some are old, some are new. Some are false, some are true. I may not be your perfect friend, but one thing I will always be - the cutest you've got.
Yesterday is history.... Tomorrow is a mystery.... Today is a gift.... That's why its called the present!
I'm not sure what life could bring you. I'm not sure if dreams do come true. I'm not sure what love can do. But I'm sure about one thing.
What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.
I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn't know I've influenced you that much!
Others say life is unfair. Well, it's true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute text mate like me.
Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?
If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!
When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough bout me. How about you?
It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
Dear fellow texters, Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.
When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.
There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.
He loves his girlfriend more when she is not around.
The only person who can make her smile is a dentist.